A buch of Nonsense
by Theadacia
Summary: This is something when me and my friend were working on a Johnny Tremain play, we were board so we just started writing the causes of death for most of the Johnny Tremain characters...It's just plain strange really...and weird...but it's funny...especiall
1. Paper 1

What happened after the story?

Johnny served for seven more years in the American army and was at the defeat of General Cornwallis at Yorktown and also was at the battle of Trenton and was able to be in the same ship as General Washington while crossing the Delaware. He retired at the rank of Lieutenant and returned to Boston after being shot in the shoulder on the last day of the battle of Yorktown. The fifty-two year old Lieutenant also served in one battle during the war of 1812. He suffered a blow on the head and was returned back to Boston. Although he was at first thought to be absent of mind, he quickly showed that he wasn't. He and his wife Priscilla then moved to New York at the request of 'Rabbit' the son of the printer of the Boston Observer a Mr. Loren and his wife Jennifer Silsbee. He suffered through smallpox in 1815 and on August 31, 1816 died of a fire that took with it the home of his family. He was buried in the same cemetery as his mother Lavinia Lyte (Mrs. Tremain) in Boston. His wife Cilla and five children survived.

Cilla and Johnny had seven children with six surviving: Rabson, Jonathan Jr., Lavinia, Paul Revere, Joseph Warren, Samuel Adams and Isannah. There youngest daughter twelve at the time of the fire, Isannah died in the fire also taking Johnny. During the war of 1812 when Johnny left again, Cilla and her family moved up to northern New Jersey, but then at the end of the war moved down to New York. After Johnny died in 1816 Cilla moved the family back to Boston and remarried to Augustus Trent of London. After his death in 1824, Cilla moved to Philadelphia. She died of smallpox in 1830. Her body was buried next to her first husbands in Boston, her second husbands body is laid just outside of Boston.

Isannah tried to become a actress for several years but when she fail she became addicted to opium. She married in 1788 to John Thatcher. They had two children Elizabeth and John. She died giving birth to her third child Charles. Her body was sent back to the Lyte family grave in Boston in 1802 after being buried in the Lyte London family grave. But in 1856 was removed from the Lyte family grave and put in a separate graveyard just down from the family graveyard, for failure to find any blood between her and the Lyte family, although she was eventually adopted by Lavinia. Charles died shortly after his first birthday. Her husband later remarried to Mary Blanchard.

Mr. Loren and Jennifer after escaping from Boston in 1775 they returned very shortly for the wedding of Johnny and Cilla. Mr. Loren joined General Washington's troops around Trenton with Johnny when he was ready to leave Cilla a year after there marriage. He died of scarlet fever on a prison ship when he was taken captive shortly after the battle of Trenton. Mrs. Loren stayed with Cilla until till the first child Rabson was grown to seven and then Johnny came home again. Mrs. Loren then stayed on with them until she moved to Lexington in 1788 to take care of her father who had been shot while trying to defend his home from the British. She nursed him back to life then in 1798 she fell ill with an unknown disease to the day. She died in 1799 and is buried in the Silsbee family grave in Lexington. Mr. Loren was buried in an unmarked grave.

Grandsire Silsbee lived with his daughter Jennifer until she died in 1798; he shortly there after died in 1800 at the age of 94 of natural causes (first one of natural causes-because Rachel wanted it! I wanted someone to died in the river, but 'no...' or smallpox- I mean people did die of smallpox didn't they? I thought one of Ben Franklin's sons died of smallpox. 'People do die of smallpox, it's just not all people die of smallpox,' Rachel says. Who does she think she is? Everyone dies of smallpox sooner or latter. I do know that they were eradicated about twenty or so years ago, but come on there has to be some that died of smallpox. Or maybe it's just because I like to type the word smallpox allot. I'm sure getting good at typing 'smallpox'. Hey this is fun. Now I get the nice warm chair that Rachel has been sitting on. And it's much easier to reach the keyboard so I can type more. Now where was I? Oh, yes I was typing about how much I liked to type the word 'smallpox'. Oh, yeah (now you've got to be a walking dictionary? Huh Rachel) I already said that didn't I? Well, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox. I know how to make this go much faster (I didn't type that). I have to go back to smallpox and then highlight then copy then paste, then you'll see my creation. Smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, smallpox, hey that was fun, except that someone (Rachel) forgot to use the comma with it (Not really, it was me, I like to be honest, ha, ha, ha.). So _I_ had to go back and re do everything, yeah that's how you spell it. And just for good measure one more 'smallpox'. Now lets get back to people dying in the river, why not in a lake? Or the ocean? Or a pond? Or some other body of water that I really can't remember right now. Um...Um...Um...instant messenger? Okay. I really don't like speel check, you know they really ain't know any grammar and don't know how to speel. Be silent Rachel! I just can't think right now, okay? People die in rivers don't they? I didn't say everybody Rachel, I just said Isannah, and it's alright for her to drowned after giving birth and her husband throwing her body in to the river, isn't it? 'I suppose, but it doesn't sound right that he would throw her body into the river afterward...I mean...right Hommy?' Okay I have picked up some bad language from Jessi, okay? I think that anyone who would spell the short form of Jessica, Jessi has to be crazy. Jessy is one thing but spelling it with an 'I'? What ever. Now I know that your getting board with me just running off on tangents, but let me talk about smallpox and getting thrown into a river once again, a lot of people died in a river or of smallpox, so I guess that I'm going to type slower, so people can catch up, but since I guess that your reading this already typed up that you really won't care if I'm writing slowly or not. Oh, sure I have a long sentence but a few minutes ago you did say that hobo had a long sentence. Oh sure not fare rights, now I'm worse then a hobo? Well I guess that's what we get when we're living in a 'Democracy', I knew that I spelt that wrong, I meant to. Alright, so now I would like to speak on be half of the hobo that's holding a gun to my head and say that the hobo and wino nation is a good and sober one. There are lots of good hobos and winos...Sam Adams for one...well he just kind of looked the part didn't he...oh, I'm sorry, he was a hobo and the hobo nation is very proud to be sponsoring him. Now they would also like to announce that Sam Adams will be running for re-election of the hobo nation, although he has been dead for...Oh, I don't know, two-hundred or so...Oh, I'm sorry he is the president of the hobo nation at this time and will hopefully be president while he is decaying in his grave-luckily their not that sober so they're not understanding all that I'm saying, or typing I mean. Good, now's my time of escape, they've got out the keg of beer to celebrate the life of Sam Adams, and their all singing the hobo and wino nation national anthem. 'I'm a hobo and/or a wino and I'm okay, I work all night and I sleep all day. I wear high heals, and perfume and dress in women clothing. I want to be just like my dear Mama...' alright, now I'm going to make a break for it. If I should die, tell my widow I love her. Okay, I'm going...going...Oh, drat I ran into a wall.).


	2. Paper 2

Causes of Death for Johnny Tremain characters:

(Alphabetically...for the most part...)

Sam Adams: Hobos who finally figured out that he wasn't a hobo at all, but instead just a want-to-be...And also lost to James Otis for Hobo King!!!!!! (Vote James Otis for Hobo King!!!!!!! SAVE ME FROM THE HOBOS...AH...AH...AHAHAHAHA!!!!!..........AH...AH!!! (WEARLY) Ah, well never mind they've gone to their...k...keg of be...beer again...and are listn..listnnin...liststining...to another one of James Otis's speeches. Oh, no!! He's telling them to go to war...and to Go and God go with them...I think I'm out numbered...espically now that they have God on their side. Ut oh, they know that I'm a Sam Adams supporter, and James Otis hates Sam Adams...their old enemies. But...oh, good...he called him an old friend as well. Their coming toward me... 'Hello, fellows...' (little laugh)...there's a large one in front that I think is their leader. A brutish fellow that's nine feet tall and has hair all over his body...rather looks like a ape...Oh...no sir didn't call you an Ape...I swear...Well, you do look rather like an ape don't you?...Wait a second...I'm typing this...and you don't know what I'm typing this so how did you know that I called you an ape?...Well I guess I did just call you one...I think...Oh, no...Oh, no Mr. ...what was your name?...Sasquatch?...yes and how do you spell that?...Oh, not S. A. S. Q. U. A. T. C. H.?... Oh, that is how you spell it but not in lowercases...ah... 'Is there anything that I can do to make it easier to spell, sir?'...Oh, just call you Mr. Bigfoot?...Well sir, I really don't feel good about calling you 'Bigfoot', your feet are big, but look at mine...Ah, well that's very nice of you, Mr. Bigfoot to give me the name of your colber, but you see, I already have one...What do you mean?!...I tell you sir, that my feet are not two big...What? Where do I buy my shoes?...Why at the clown inporium, doesn't everybody?...Well it's not very nice of you to start lauging at my big feet...huh!...Oh, well dry your tears of laughter and tell me what your name is... 'Yeti'? Well Mr. 'Yeti', since you look like the out door type, I will take you for your word. Now, I tell you sir that I am not, a Sam Adams supporter...No, I'm not...I was taken hostage by some of his supporters and they through me down here because I tried to make a brake for it and ran into a wall...So they through me down here with all of James Otis's supporters...What you aren't all James Otis supporters?...No?...Well I though because you were all rallying around him that you...Oh, he's your next...What? He's your next meal?...Well I've fallen into a group of cannibals!...Oh, your not cannibals?...Then what in heaven's name are you?...Ah, you're the people that got smallpox, thrown into a river...oh lake for you...and pond...and another body of water that you really can't think of right now?...This seems fimilar...Ah, and hit by...Limes?...okay, this is getting freky...But you aren't going to eat him...But I thought that you just said that you were going to...Ah, he's a sacrifice to the God's?...(queerly) this is starting to make sence?...Okay, then to what _God_?...The God of ever death?...Ah, Hates?...no?...Who then?...Oh, no...No!...I tell you Lightning is not a God!...They've started their dance around 'Ben Franklin's rod'...Oh, no...I've got to get out of here...their crazy...Do I want to face these...I don't know what to call them, or do I want to face the drunk Hobo's above with Sam Adams?...Well I guess I'll take my chances underground, since we are under ground there isn't much of a chance that the lightning...will...Ah!!!!...(Chewing) You know I never knew that lightning could strike underground, but, ha, you can't go against the results...This James Otis is fabulous!...What is it really, Mr. Yeti?...Oh, it is James Otis...I can tell that you are...(bite)...Sam Adams supporters, now...Do you add any thing to it Mr. Yeti?...No, really, it just tastes...(bite)...so...(bite)...(Creak)... Oh, no...They've come to take me back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peggy Anderson: Small Pox

Timothy Barton: Over Work

Benjamin Church: Firing Squad

Bessie Clark: A Tiny Piece of Garlic

Justice Dana: A small girl

Will Daws: His horse tripped on the way out to Lexington to rally the Militiamen

Dove: Johnny's Ghost

Lidia Frances: Oh, God I hope she's dead

William Haden: Spelt 'Esquire' wrong in Mr. Lyte's name

Cinacall Hasley: Smallpox

Cynthia Hasley: George, Erenstine, Mary and Samuel

Erenistine Hasley: Smallpox

George Hasley: Smallpox

Mary Hasley: Smallpox

Samuel Hasley: Smallpox

Johnny Hancock: Look in your history books

Linda Jacobson: Smallpox

Little Jehu: A Boston Fishwife (He let John Hancock's horse trample on some flowers)

Dorcas Lapham: To much flower on her face

Ephraim Lapham: Weren't you paying attention

Isannah Lapham: Every one and everything in the known universe

Madge Lapham: Overeating

Maria Lapham: Her husbands kept disappearing on her

Cilla Lapham: Smallpox (I hope!!!!!!)

Aunt Jennifer Lorne: Unknown (Most likely...um...still unknown today...)

Rabbit: A heart attack from the stress of telling everyone that his name wasn't 'Rabbit'...His real name is...Um...it...doesn't...say...Well that's a rip off!

Thomas Lorne: Trying to figure out what his son's name was

Aunt Best Lyte: She was struck down for her Pride...Because as we've learned Pride is a sin...and if you have pride you'll be struck down for it. Proverb Eleven, Verse Two: When pride comeith so shall shame and a haunty spirit...yada, yada, yada...

Jonathan Lyte: The three Ghosts of Christmas present, past and future that came during the night of December 25, in London...(They've now been identified as a young Charles Dickens, Jacob Marley and Ebenezer Scrooge...or possibly members of the Cratchet family)

Livinia Lyte: Plumb cakes, roast turkeys and stuffing, rice pudding, gravy and potatoes marinated pig, limes and Lemons, chocolate and tea, clams and goose and quail.

Sewall: He ran into a wall (and guess what, he didn't see it!!!!!)

Talbot: Who's he?

Thomas McHiggin: Is he even in the story?

Dusty: Didn't clean the house and died of...what else...Smallpox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No I'm kidding, dust, or maybe smallpox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or maybe not... (Whimper)

Samuel Miller: When in doubt...Smallpox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robert Newman: Paul Revere's faulty lantern...

James Otis: The lightning rod on top of his head!!!!!!!! ((chewing)...Well I'm back. I bet that you didn't think that I'd be back again, did you? Well, now you know...(chewing)...better. Well...Sam Adams is...giving me all that I can eat...mostly James Otis, which I have to say is the best that I've ever had...Well again, I would like to speak on behalf of the Hobo King...Samuel Adams...Old Sammy boy...Yes, that great big lovible cousin of Johnny Adams...Sorry, John Adams...Johnny's his dog, and it's not very nice because if I called him a cousin that would make him a son of...Liberty...Yeah, that it's it...Well I would like to say that I want to take back everything that I said about James Otis, except for the fact that he really was delicious. Now for a little bit of history...You see, why I like to talk about James Otis and Lightning...among other things, such as smallpox...smallpox...smallpox...(Sigh) and of course smallpox, along with getting thrown into rivers is because I have turned, on and off, insane. This going frequently in between sane and crazy is called (By me at least, although the medical cuminity refuses to think of me as a doctor...now at least...but not when I'm crazy...oh, no then it's Doctor Otis, come here into this nice hospital...yeah those were the days...actually that was only two hours ago, which might explain why I'm still in this strait jacket...Yeah, Sammy boy, can you give me a little help here?...Yes, I do regonize you as being alive...(softly) and decaying in your grave...Good thing he didn't see that) Well as I was saying...it is called by Doctor Otis...a. k. a...Me...the James Otis syptom...You see over James Otis' life, up until he died he went in and out of being...Koo..Koo...sorry I do that everytime the hour strikes...now as I was saying he went...Koo..koo...I guess it was two...Koo...Two thirty...Now, as I said James Otis went crazy and this went from the time he was hit on the head by the costoms agent, in 1769 to the time he died in 1783. He was Insane for about ten years...though many say that he was sain...and then only about a month then went crazy again...and this went on for many...many...times...You see he wanted to...um...He thought that...the best way to...He wanted to die...Alright...he wanted to be struck by lightning...Okay...and that's where we get this...absloutly...(chew) meat...delicious. You really shouldn't try to understand me or him (depending on weather I'm absloutly...(minical laugh) crazy.......................Now I know that your just getting sick and tired of me actually telling you real historical facts, so let me talk about small pox once more.....Smallpox, smallpox, smallpox...Now to the tune of jingle bells! Small...pox...small...pox...small...pox. Smallpox, smallpox and smallpox all the way, hey! I just love that word so much. I wouldn't like to get smallpox, I just like typing it though. I wonder what happened to Mr. Yeti, the outdoor guy. Or where Sammy boy went. Or James Otis...oh, yeah right, I knew that. It sure is quiet up here now. And it's getting kind of boring. Everybodys gone, they've left me for dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, well, at least I still have some James Otis left to eat...)

Patty Peterson: As no one is quite sure who exactally she is, lets just be on the safe side...Smallpox.

Paul Revere: The British weren't coming by sea...

Rab Silsbee: If I have to tell you this, you'd better have a good reason why you missed the last quarter of the play.

Colonel Henry Smith: Stupid assistance like stranger.

Major Jacob Stranger: Stupid Colonel's like Smith.

Jack Townsend: Throughing fat privats into the sea.

Will Townsend: ...um...da...smallpox?

Johnny Tremain: He found another sin...And worked on a Sunday! And maybe smallpox...No? Ah, drat!

Joseph Warren: the British marching up Bunker hill...or was it Breeds...no, Bunker...Breeds...Bunker...Breeds!...Bunker!...Breeds!...Well one of those two...hopefully...(Of course he probably didn't know where he was because he was drunk at the time as he had been drinking all night with Paul Revere, and hadn't slept...that was probably why he was so dressed up to go and die. But I still don't get why he was reading Shakespeare instead of fighting, I don't think that anyone gets that really. But oh, well he died like he wanted...up to his ankles in blood...well actually he just fainted because he got blood on his shoes, they were farely knew so he had a reason to faint. Or, maybe the reason the he went to the hill to get killed was because of the bad fitting teath that none other then Paul Revere had made for him. You know I think that Johnny could have done just as good of job as Revere, but no Warren needed to go to a profestional that would actually show him his hand! Well la-te-da...Oh, be quiet, Otis...Shut up Adams...stop making fun of Warren...I said be quite...Oh, shut up...no you shut up...the pithitic thing is that I'm only one person...(minical laugh)...and that person is...None other then...Da-da-da...Joseph Warren...the tiny little person...Oh my gosh, my head hurts. Sorry I have to be leaving so soon, but there's kind of this big battle on this small hill, I have to go and be one of the one hundred casulities. The only general to get killed but you know, you have to fight...Are you so sure that you have to fight?...James!...John shut up...Ah, Johnny boy now you're here...oh, be quiet Sam...Johnny, old cousin of mine, who's side are you on?...For what?...Hobo King of course...You really want to know?...Yes, of course...(pause)...I can't tell you...Why?...Abby, my wife, says not to get into politics...You Johnny, in politics?...Yes, Sam, I'm sorry...Well I'd never...Hey, it's not my fault that she like that...No but it's your fault that you married her...Really? My fault? How else was I ever going to become a layer? If I didn't marry into her family, I would have lost more then half the town of Braintree. Her parents have a lot of children you know...Yes I know...So will you tell us then?...I told you I can't...Ah, Johnny just for old times sake?...Okay, then...Ben Franklin...he's running for Hobo King?...Yes, I'm sorry...But he's not even a Boston man...No actually he was born and raised in Boston...The only reason why your voting for him is because he's in the congress isn't it, John?...Well...I'm in the congress to! (Sam starts crying)...So am I...And who are you, pray tell?...Don't you regonize me Johnny? I'm Johnny!...Who's that?...Johnny Hancock?...No, not ringing any bells...My signatures so big the only one that can read it is God!...Oh, that Johnny Hancock, didn't you just get into the fabric business...Yeah, but it really hasn't been good...Oh, sorry to hear that, Johnny boy...Those things happen, John...Yeah...Hey, didn't you say that Ben Franklin's running for Hobo King, John?...Yeah, why?...Nothing, he just doesn't seem like the Hobo type, I mean, yeah half of what he does, does, but not the other half...Yeah, it's proabibly just a publicity stunt, like what that Virginian did to get to be commander and chief...Who did what?...Oh, nothing Joe, just that George Washington dressed up in his uniform when he went to congress...(mocking) Dressed up in his uniform to congress, bla, bla, bla...Why are you so mad John?...Oh, Jim, he wanted the job...Oh...No I didn't. But come on that guy was a total phoney, about as phoney as you can get. I mean when I saw him stand up I thought that the British were coming into our state house...Good thing I wasn't around for that, I was dead by that time wasn't I?...Yes, Joe, you were...I knew that, Sam...Then why did you ask?...Filler...Oh, filler...But that Washington guy, he's ain't that great, I mean I could have done just as good of job as him...Oh, I'm sure...I could have...Right...I could have Sam...Sure, so...oh, hey Paul...Hey, Sam. Just parked my horse out side, no body's leaven soon, right? Else I could move it...No, I'm not, not too soon at least. Hey you got one of those new fangled utility horses, don't you Paul?...Yeah, kinda'. Actually we got a mini-horse. Twice as big as a regular horse, but not as big as a big horse. Rachel made me get ride of my old horse, militia. Boy I loved that horse, but she says that we have so many kids now, that we need it...But ain't that new horse, four-holf drive...Yeah, oh, boy that's sweet...I can imagine. So how's your oldest Debby?...Oh, Ma ain't doin' so good nowadays...No, I mean you daughter...Yeah?...Your mother's your daughter?...Yeah?...(What?)...(No one can quite figure out what he's talking about...or why the founding fathers have developed such bad grammer, and spellin'.)


End file.
